She does NOT need to be in a Lesbian relationship, or implied Bi. She could have been turned later, by the MC after he’d gained enough trust within his clan (which would have made a lot more sense to a retconned involvement in the LI’s personal history that was later introduced with one character) it should NEVER have been made implied that GF was either with, DTF or being fucked by ANYONE else. Who gets turned by a different clan, when frankly they DID NOT need to ever be separated. There are a few points in the story that muddle things unnecessarily. It should only be: Do you want to boink this person for the rest of eternity, or not?

It’ll only over complicate the code – and I would argue there REALLY should NOT be a way that MC CAN fuck up. With either the factions or the Harem girls, that can be mucked up. There do not need to be so many variables. Or flesh out the paths so that there is a benefit to going toward certain set builds. However if the idea is to introduce 3 factions with different ideologies, a rebel faction, a traditional faction and a necromantic/magic faction… and then say that the MC is looking to BUILD his own… then the MC’s faction is REALLY the ONLY faction that should count. They do not help his case.įirst being that he wants to create factions ala Vampire The Masquerade – which is NOT a bad idea.

The symptomatic problems in the story are several fold. You should be able to break relationships to begin them with MC, as the ONLY acceptable option. First, there shouldn’t be married characters – or characters that fuck anyone but the MC. The biggest reason it is getting as much hate as it is would be the harem tag which if the author doesn’t know how one works, he shouldn’t try writing.

Download vtmb2